ive decided to skip every dinner but im soooo hungry that i cant even look streight. its horrible. i must eat. but until ill take the A exam i just cant do any sports but jogging. but its not enough. i want to be sporty but i cant in the lack of time. so i gave up eating. but mom says im too thin and im haveing anorexia. but its not like that. i feel like i want to have anorexia. i want to suffer. i want to be addicted. i want to be abused. i want to be troublesome.
i want to be guilty.
not just that garden suburb cheeky little girl. i start to hate myself as i look into the mirror, seeing that average girl. whos thin but not having anorexia, whos talented but not enough, whos nothing special, whos usual.
im ordinary. thats the way i am. Bunny says im special, i must be cause in the other case shed never be my best friend.
i want to be broken backed.
but i wont be. so im just going to eat a little to ease my hunger.
