since the big breaking up it was the first time ive been going out somewhere and i can tell u guys it was just so much fun! the usual crew was there and i felt like im a teenager again. i met with etelka also, and she said she wanted to spend more and more time with me, even in the summer vacation. i was just soooo happy. of course i was thinking about my ex and i was planning to call him but tündi said NO and it seems it was just enough.
i wish i could be happy by his side but i couldnt. it was just impossible. but i loved him so much. i cant believe im single again.
but im tired of being a precious little wife. im just 17 after all. and i dont want to throw these years away like its nothing. i miss him of course and i also wish i could love him. i was just so happy by his side. but its over, unluckily its just over. oh man its so hard to believe. after 9 months...i feel like i divorced. i had a great time with him. hes just so lovely and honestly im the worst couse i dont want to marry a guy like him.
love love love..what is it after all? all night long i was sayin that i was engaged to the art and thats why i cant be with him. and somehow its true. i know it sounds lame but i can throw everything away to draw. even him. ohh man, i want you to know that i loved you. for some moments i feel like i still love you. but things between us just hadnt worked out as i expected before.
the last two months was horrible. and honestly...your such a lame if u havent even noticed it. i know ur feeling horrible. i wish ud be just happy.
but time pass...and our feelings also.
we will feel better soon. and i made a conscious choice. i just couldnt have made mistake.
i love you, still love you, and in the bottom of my heart i will always.
